i LOVE/LOATHE YOU MOM!!

today is such a fucking-asshole day.had to start the day badly because of mom.she gave me attitude since yesterday just because of the stupidest thing ever. i have to admit i am lazy,who didin't,it was raining yesterday morning and i was lazy to get up...duh human nature.so she was like shouting,bugging me to wake up and when i didn't,she went into the room and gave me two fucking painful slaps...what the fuck...i don't mind being slapped at,but the way she ask me to go to the shop was like commanding a maid instead....what did she think i 'm her maid is it??

then this morning,when i was about to go to band practice,she asked me to go to the shop.i was running late and i had to argue with her,but as usual MOTHERS always win so i had to go....seriously i was damn pissed off at her,but what can i do....i'm only a MAID...

i can't deny the fact that if other teenage girls who had mothers like mine would surely hate their mothers for ruining their teenage life,but love my mom a lot eventhough she's being a bitch for as long as i know,but if i wasn't around,nobody would do my job and she had to do them all by herself.forget about asking my brother and sisters to do them,they are just fuckingly cared about their damned life which doesn't even prove any happiness,at least not yet,but i don't see it coming

Mom,i wonder if i am really not around,would the rest of your children be bothered to do whatever you asked them to??would they even bother to help you??sometimes i wonder how would you survive with no one 's there to take care of you or just simply go to the shop to buy the things you asked them to,i know that all this while the stuff that i did is not enough to pay back all the hardwork you had done to take care of me and my siblings so we could grow up to be a better person than we had before....it just makes me wonder

before this year comes to an end,i just want to apologise to you Mom for all the mistakes i have done,for all the things i done that have made you feel like shit,for all the bad things that i didn't do,for all the things that you blamed me for and for all the wrong things that,God knows,will and might be happening in the near future and this coming new year and thank you for your scoldings,your beatings and all the bad stuff you had done to me just to make my fucking life a lot harder,because of all these...it only had made me a better person....thanks again

and last but not least,i wish you a good life and hope that your illness will be recovered....i hope to see you happy in the new year and i hope that you won't vent your anger on me and treat me like a lifeless ragdoll....i hate you but i love you even more....

Happy New Year everyone....
i just refused to complete my year with a bad end
but what the hell,my year is ruined anyway
now just don't feel like welcoming the new year.....